Here is a poem I found on a website tonight...it sums up in a nutshell how I feel at times. I am going to bleep out the expletive however at times I can echo the words she uses in my heart too.
A Mother's Promise
She walks down the hallway in silence so deep,
Keeping watch over him, as her little one sleeps.
With meter in hand, she opens his door,
Making sure not to wake him as she crosses the floor.
She sits on his bedside and brushes his hair,
As he dreams of shooting baskets, without a 'D' care.
She holds his hand softly; his fingers so small,
As she watches and wonders why 'D' came to call.
While she watches him sleeping, so peaceful and warm,
The forces inside him fight a constant 'D' storm.
Will he ever be free of shots and blood testing?
She sits and she wonders as she watches him resting.
The beep of the meter breaks the silence of the night,
A small drop of blood tells if everything's right.
The seconds count down to the final display,
I hate this xxxx meter; I want to throw it away.
The number is fine, one down, a lifetime to go,
As he turns in his sleep, will he ever know?
Why does this 'D' happen to someone so small?
My son is my hero, but my baby most of all.
She turns at his doorway, looking back one more time,
It's a nightly routine of the very worst kind.
She walks down the hallway and time passes by,
As she sits in dark silence and quietly cries.
I have to stay strong, and for him I will fight,
We'll battle this 'D' with all of our might.
I'll teach him to master and conquer this foe,
This 'D' will not stop him, I promised him so.