Elijah's not-so-fun Week

This has been a HUGE week for our littlest one Elijah. Tuesday morning he went in to have his tonsils and adenoids taken out and new tubes put in his ears. He has been sick off and on since October with fluid behind his ears and tonsilitis. We knew this was coming as the rest of our kids have had to do the same thing. Little man has had it rough though and recovery has not come quickly. Our big drinker has been refusing to drink and really gets upset when we have to force down his medicine. I have spent many a hours in this chair holding Elijah trying to comfort him. Hopefully today will be the day he begins to bounces back to his sweet active self!



This is Elijah after his surgery hiding from everyone and everything under his blanket.

Elijah has spent many hours buried in his blanket this week. Especially when mommy has to force him to drink or take medicine! :( Poor little Elijah I think he feels like he is escaping buried in his blanket! Maybe we all will disappear!

Daddy holds Elijah before they come and take him for surgery.

Our little wildman before they sedated him for surgery. He was EVERYWHERE! Jim and I were actually hoping they would come with the happy/sleepy medicine QUICK! :)

Elijah before surgery when he is happy. We haven't seen much of this sweet face this week while he has been recovering!

Mommy and Elijah waiting for Dr. Holland to come in.

Trusting In Jesus

Prayer for Trust in Jesus

O Christ Jesus,

When all is darkness

and we feel our weakness and helplessness,

give us the sense of Your presence,

Your love, and Your strength.

Help us to have perfect trust

in Your protecting love

and strengthening power,

so that nothing may frighten or worry us,

for, living close to You,

we shall see Your hand,

Your purpose, Your will through all things.

St. Ignatius of Loyola

I have always approached life through rose colored glasses or a fairytale reality where everything always "works out." I think I made it through the weekend between diagnosis and Carter's outpatient treatment with the same approach. In the back of my mind I continued to hope and pray that the tests were wrong, that it was a fluke, and that on Monday, the pediatric endocrinologist would just confirm the anomaly and everything would be okay with my precious son. One thing that I have wrestled in the depths of my soul these past few years is the reality of brokenness in this world and yet the awesome sovereignty of God. The God of creation who has the power to DO anything and yet sometimes in our eyes is quiet and still. I have prayed for miraculous healings that don't come, loved ones to not pass away, mommies not to lose their precious babies, thorns in the flesh to be removed. Good well meaning people have come up to our family sharing how they have prayed for us and specifically for healings over various things. How do you look people in the eye who say that they have prayed for healing and seem to be utterly disappointed and almost offended when it has not occurred for your family. Is my faith any less...? Is God still good when things don't turn out the way we have prayed. God has spoken to the brokenness of my heart challenging me to praise Him regardless of the outcome. Is the Almighty God of the Universe any less almighty if my prayers are not answered in the manner in which I think they ought to be. When the road is broken and difficult will I chose to praise him No Matter What? I had to lay my son on the alter that weekend and thank God for whatever He was going to do through this next path. Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane "Not my will, but yours be done." Giving my loved one back to God (as if he were "mine" to begin with) is what God called me to do, knowing and submitting to His will. I can't even find the words to express my heart over this matter, however I know that God has used this brokenness over my son to help me be more dependent on Him than I ever was. I have to give up my control freak nature and daily entrust Carter to Him. The crazy and cruel thing about Juvenile Diabetes is that it is unpredictable. You can DO everything correctly (diet, exercise, close monitoring of blood sugar) and end up with extreme blood sugar highs and lows. It never "levels" out or is in control for more than a few hours :) . I praise God that He always is!

The Next Day of our Journey

We went into Dr. Reinhard's office the very next morning for our first insulin shot. Talk about being out of my comfort zone. One minute your an ordinary mommy and the next minute your a full time nurse required to give your child of all things SHOTS!!! After what felt like a microscopic lesson on how to give a shot, we were sent home with needles and a bottle of Lantus (long acting insulin) to give Carter every day. I was very surprised how little knowledge had been given to us on what a person with diabetes could and couldn't eat. We had three days to make it until outpatient therapy and I just laugh at what misconceptions I had for Carter. We pulled everything with any sugar from his diet including fruit and basically just fed him meat and cheese for a couple of days. The first time I had to give Carter a shot on my own, he ran screaming and crying from me and hid under the bed. I literally had to drag him out and hold him down. He was crying, I was crying (not to mentioned terrified and unsure about doing his shots myself) and the whole experience lead me utterly dreading the next time I had to give him a shot. My poor son really had a hard time grasping what was going on with him and it is really just heartwrenching as a parent to watch your child suffer and struggle with issues that you can't fix. Here is my email from the very next day.

"Hi friends....I just want to praise God and thank you for your prayers for Carter last night and today. After Friday morning's traumatic injection I truly didn't think we could both do it again. However thanks to your prayers we saw God's hand at work. Carter asked us first thing this morning when he was going to get his shot and then after I used the new "inject a pen" he said it didn't even hurt. Praise God! Literally an act of the Holy Spirit and day and night difference from Friday morning. Thank you guys! Please continue to pray for Carter for his little mind to slowly digest all of this information. Tonight at bedtime we were talking about how many more days until we go see Dr. Jelley. I told him that we were going to have to start monitoring his glucose levels probably in his finger....his reaction of course was "Does it hurt? Carter buddy...I really don't know but I promise you I will monitor mine as well so you are not alone." There is so much to comprehend. At times today honestly I was very discouraged. I went to the library and checked out a couple of "kids" books on juvenile diabetes and honestly I couldn't handle the negativity. I for sure am not reading them to Carter. I want us to tackle this thing through Christ's strength. My dear friend Christy Cook sent me a CD which has a song on it that truly sums up this...I will copy the words at the end of this email.

At bedtime tonight we read from Carter's bible on David and Goliath and how David had no fear because he knew God was bigger than Goliath. We talked about David being a true superhero because he trusted in God and overcame Goliath even when it seemed impossible. Carter and I talked about our "Goliath" being diabetes and that in God we are to have no fear. We worked on memorizing Nahum 1:7 which states "The Lord is good, When trouble comes, he is a strong refuge." Specific prayer requests for next week include :

1. God's covering and protection over Carter's body as we still seek healing and prayerfully a perfectly normal reading on Monday morning at Dr. Jelley. Emma, Hope, Jim, and I have been laying our hands on Carter and praying for healing. Pray for our experience with Dr. Jelley and divine wisdom for him as a physician. (On a side note, he does have a 9 year old son who has diabetes so we know that he has personal experience with all of this).


2. For the worry to subside for me as I am anxious about every morsel that goes into Carter's mouth right now not knowing if it has too much sugar or carbs for his little body to handle. I really am looking forward to a road map if indeed we are facing Juvenile Diabetes.

3. For Carter as he is really terrified of pain...they accidently forgot to run the growth hormone blood test last week so we might be facing another blood draw early this week. Let's just say that it was truly a nightmare for us both to get 3 vials of blood out of my 36 pound son while he was just screaming. Secondly if we are facing that again pray that he would not have such a severe reaction phsycially with headaches and emtionally with his fear of needles, shots, and pain.

4. Pray for the many people who are watching loved ones suffer through illness and trauma that the peace of Christ that truly transcend understanding will guard them and gird them as they walk through the days ahead. This week in particular seems to be full of people experiencing this.


Thank you dear friends in Christ, I could not walk this road without the body of Christ lifting us up.
Laura"


by Casting Crowns "Praise You in this Storm" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHdcyue0bSw

"I was sure by now that you would have reached down and wiped our tears away. Stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining.
As the thunder rolls, I barely hear You whisper through the rain "I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls, I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away.

I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands for You are .....who You are
no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side
and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm.

I remember when I stumbled in the wind, You heard my cry. You raised me up again. My strength is almost gone, how can I carry on if I can't find you.

I lift my eyes unto the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and Earth. I'll praise You in this storm, and I will lift my hands for You are who You are no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in Your hand. You never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm."

The day Carter was diagnosed

July 3rd, 2006 Hope, Emma, and Carter on their Nana's porch. The next week our lives began to change significantly. We drove to Kansas City following the 4th of July and Carter repeatedly had to go to the bathroom and was constantly asking for more to drink. Jim's mom picked up on the fact something might be wrong and even mentioned Diabetes. I of course said oh he's fine I'm sure. By the time we returned to Bartlesville, we were convinced that all was not well with are little man. He had begun to wet the bed which had actually NEVER happened to him and looked very thin. I took him into Dr. Reinhard right away. She felt around and he winced when she touched his abdomen. She looked at me and somehow I just knew in my heart that all was not well with my son. She told me she would like to do a blood test in the morning after he had fasted all night and they would be checking for a battery of things including diabetes. Carter had lost 7 pounds over a period of a few days as his body virtually had begun the process of starving itself to death. He weighed a mere 36 pounds and was on the verge of turning 6 years old.

The next day, I got the phone call during a homeschool teachers meeting that every person dreads receiving. Dr. Reinhard had called me saying the tests were back and Carter indeed had Juvenile diabetes. I cannot tell you how grateful I was to the Lord that he had chosen her to be our Doctor during this gutwrenching phone call. She cried with me as a mom/parent, encouraged me, and counseled me as a Doctor. Thank you Lord for a woman who loves and serves you in her work! The next 24 hours the roller coaster began. I was really clueless about Juvenile Diabetes. I remembered what I had learned in school, remembered treating patients who had not taken care of themselves medically, but I was clueless on the treatment of diabetes per say. All of my family thought it meant absolutely no sugar. We were scheduled to go into Dr. Reinhard's office the first thing Friday morning for Carter to receive his first insulin shot. We also were scheduled to begin outpatient treatment in Tulsa the following Monday. All I really remember is a panic feeling that we had to wait for 3 days and I was clueless of what to feed my child and terrified of causing his body any more damage! The following is my email to my dear friends and family who lifted us up continually in Christ.

"Hi friends...it has been a long day however we finally got some answers to some problems health wise with Carter. He has been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes. We are going Monday to two days of outpatient treatment with a pediatric endocrinologist in Tulsa. Please pray for our family as we struggle to comprehend what lifestyle changes this means for us and pray for our little guy that God will strengthen him through this battle and for courage as none of us enjoy pain in any form. God is an awesome sovereign God who will use this new trial to continue to transform us into his image. As Jim and I are dealing with this individually and together please pray for us as a couple that we will rely on Christ and cast our concerns and frustrations over to our heavenly Father. I have been placing Carter at His feet repeatedly these last few days saying I would praise Him no matter what....now I have the what...please pray for strength for me as a mom who would do anything to take the suffering and pain away from her child. I have great fear of Carter's reactions to a daily regimine of insulin shots and glucose monitoring. I am also hoping my reaction of numbness to the situation will give way to a resolve to not try and take the situation into my own hands to "fix" but to lay my budren down and live in God's strength. I covet all of your prayers for Carter and I continue to pray for a miraculous healing of his body and for a possible CURE for this disease.

In Christ,
Laura"

January 11th, 1922

I have been pondering in my head and praying on how to share our personal journey down the road of living with Juvenile Diabetes. As God has walked us along this path, I want to share humbly how grateful I am for lifesaving advances in medicine and technology that have allowed our son Carter to live a typical life and truly just be ALIVE because 100 years ago that would not have been the case. On one of the blogs I love to read, the following was flashing today and got my attention. As God has pulled on the strings of my heart, I decided that it was time to start writing about what God has taught us through this journey.
Insulin Is Used to Treat Diabetes (1922) In 1869, spurred by a medical student's observation of cells in the pancreas called "Islets of Langerhans," scientists began working to identify insulin's role in the body and to extract and purify it. Today scientists know that insulin is a hormone that regulates carbohydrate metabolism and that patients with diabetes have a decreased ability to either produce or absorb it. What happened when a 14-year-old diabetic was given the first insulin injection in 1922?


On January 11, 1922, Leonard Thompson, a 14-year-old diabetic who lay dying at the Toronto General Hospital, was given the first injection of insulin. However, the extract was so impure that Thompson suffered a severe allergic reaction, and further injections were canceled. Over the next 12 days, Collip worked day and night to improve the ox-pancreas extract, and a second dose injected on the 23rd. This was completely successful, not only in not having obvious side-effects, but in completely eliminating the glycosuria sign of diabetes. Children dying from diabetic keto-acidosis were kept in large wards, often with 50 or more patients in a ward, mostly comatose. Grieving family members were often in attendance, awaiting the (until then, inevitable) death. In one of medicine's more dramatic moments Banting, Best and Collip went from bed to bed, injecting an entire ward with the new purified extract. Before they had reached the last dying child, the first few were awakening from their coma, to the joyous exclamations of their families. However, Banting and Best never worked well with Collip, regarding him as something of an interloper, and Collip left the project soon after. Over the spring of 1922, Best managed to improve his techniques to the point where large quantities of insulin could be extracted on demand, but the preparation remained impure. The drug firm Eli Lilly and Company had offered assistance not long after the first publications in 1921, and they took Lilly up on the offer in April. In November, Lilly made a major breakthrough, and were able to produce large quantities of purer insulin. Insulin was offered for sale shortly thereafter.
This Day in History provided by The Free Dictionary

To learn more :http://encyclopedia.thefreedictionary.com/insulin

A New Year

It's a New Year!!! First off in my mind, where did the last year go. I remember Jim being gone on a project in Portland OR for the first 6 weeks of 2007. It was a very long, cold, icy, snowy winter. I remember that Spring did sneak in a little early in 2007. I planted all of my flowers in the ground and then it froze!! I remember thinking that I might actually wait until April 15th this year. (Perhaps?!) God opened the door at ConocoPhillips for my husband to start a new job in May/June of 2007. He stopped traveling for the first time in 10 years. Wow. We had to learn how to be together as a family all week. I know that sounds silly but it took some getting used to (in a good way).

As some of you may recall, my Fall of 2006 really had wiped me out. I broke my right ankle with a spiral fracture and tore all of the ligaments in my left. It was pretty humbling crawling/scooting on my bootie for 6 weeks to get to the bathroom, etc. Mind you that Jim of course was traveling and I had a baby, a 2 year old, a child recently diagnosed with diabetes, and a overly grown up 7 year old (who I rely on too much.) Did I also mention that I am rather independent and Don't like to ask for HELP!!! After getting that darn cast off I was very out of shape and out of balance. My ankle was unstable and muscles had atrophied. So I for the first time in my life got a personal trainer and actually got in shape for a couple of months. Honestly it was absolutely a miserable experience eating right and doing cardio :) But it does go down in my journal of 2007 as one of my own personal accomplishments that I didn't think I could do. I learned I can push myself pretty hard and get some good results. My overall BMI went from a 28% to a short lived 20.4%.

Next in our Spring, Carter played Tball and soccer and loved it. Jim was the assistant coach of the Tball team. We had the busiest summer of our lives with activities and I pledged NOT to have another summer like that. Emma danced all summer, the kids took swim lessons at ConocoPhillips, we played more Tball games due to rain makeups, and spent a lot of time at the Pool. We started piano lessons again and I tried to keep school going throughout the summer. That was pretty successful for us as far as math and reading went and something I will continue to do again. Somehow, summer quickly turned into fall and we were still going strong. Soccer started again with Jim coaching. Dance picked back up and we had piano and theory in full force. I started teaching half days on Thursdays at our homeschool enrichment program. I have Emma's class full of enthusiastic 8 year old kids who really love art and science. This of course makes me love it even more! We had Carter's walk in September and that was as always an amazing event as are dear friends rally around us to support our family and Carter as we raise money for the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. We still pray continually for a cure for our little guy. Thanksgiving time Jim has surgery...honestly I have lost track of what number this hernia surgery is for him but always hope it is THE LAST!!! So as of this New Year he is still unable to lift anything more than 10 pounds. I just make up for it by trying to schedule massages more frequently for my back!! :) Christmas was a great and actually peaceful experience for our family. Christmas Eve day was probably my favorite because we just relaxed and played games with the kids. We cooked dinner together and actually ate by candlelight for the first time in our dining room. The kids were so in awe they sat quietly for at least 10 minutes!!! So as 2007 closed I will look back and remember again how blessed we are to have our family and friends who love the Lord and love us.

My challenge for 2008 is to learn my computer. It is truly like learning a foreign language to me so at times I am frustrated that I just can't get it to do what I want. I am trying to learn how to scrapbook digitally and that is an experience all in itself. I keep losing things in the same folder and program. I am looking for the Scrapbooking digitally for dummies book! As you can tell I am trying to makeover my blogsite as well. It is not going as quickly as I had hoped but perhaps one day it will be a little more like the design I have in my head.