A long day....

Brief recap of the week: Monday, Jim went in for outpatient surgery on his abdominal hernia. After a 2 hour operation, Dr. Fu came out and said they were going to admit him to the hospital for recovery. After a day of excruciating pain, he got an epidural and will be on that for a few days. Hopefully he will begin to heal quickly and come home Friday.
Here is a few things I am grateful for today!

1. The awesome, all encompassing word of my heavenly Father and the One True God.

"Consider it pure joy my brethren, WHEN you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of you faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him." James 1:2-5

I awoke this morning to go to my usual place..the bathroom and then went on to change Elijah's diaper. As I was half awake on the floor changing Elijah, the kids were screaming running up the stairs..."the water's on somewhere and it's raining in the living room." Now wide awake, I run to turn the water supply to the master bathroom toilet off. Carter and Emma have grabbed the towels and bowls downstairs and we are playing a jumping game of catch the streams of water. (Some of you may remember we have done this drill a few times before!)
2. I am praising God that the damage is not greater and the carpet is only damp and not soaking. Thank you God for quick thinking children and for once not letting a single cuss word escape my lips.

Kids are screaming, whining, crying and this mom is a little bit unnerved. Thoughts abound in my head ..."Do we need a new toilet, is that in the budget...oh yes I better check on the sweet husband in the hospital" I call Jim and he is doing fair with his pain. In the middle of the conversation, I yell at Elijah not to touch the wall vent as he rips it out of the wall (wall anchors included) then I tell my hubby I will come see him at lunch. Next I began to clean up the pile of towels, blankets, bowls, buckets, and some interesting other objects the kids had pulled out to help soak up water (my clothes :). I decided this would be a great moment to re teach Emma how to do the laundry.

3. I am thankful for a good night of sleep that God allowed that prepared me to handle the morning! I pull myself together and we head out the door and I begin to drop off kids before I take Elijah to his 1 PM appointment with Dr. Holland Sr. I take Hope to Laura Jones, Emma and Carter to Nana and Papa. I chatted with Marci and Christy on my cell phone and remind myself of the blessings of Godly friends in my life. I listen to a voice mail from Kristen and others and it makes me smile! I love my sister's in Christ. (By the way, Kipplyn I dearly miss you friend!) http://www.eightsummers.blogspot.com/

4. Thank you God for friends and family who love you and love on my children. Thank you for Grant and Erika who cooked us an awesome dinner and ran carpool. Thank you for Grant and dad who undid the chaos of my Christmas lights outside to make my sweet children happy. Thank you for Nana, Papa, Grandma Jo, and Peapa (as Elijah now affectionately calls him) who have taken children, made meals, ran errands to the hospital, and sat with Jim. I love you all and am blessed to be in this amazing family!

Elijah in tow with his green nose we drop by KFC for chicken lunches, caffeine, and then head up to the hospital to see Jim. When I walked in this morning he was nauseated from the morphine. I noticed that the drain needed to be emptied from his incision and I called the nurse. He told me that he had waited an hour already for them to come change it. I put on my charge nurse hat and hit the call button repeatedly until they came and emptied it. The drain immediately filled back up with fluid and the nurse emptied it again. I think the nurse will be checking on Jim more frequently now.

5. Thank you Lord for keeping Jim in the hospital where nurses and doctors can keep watch over him and help his body to heal. We couldn't have done all this at our house. Thank you Jesus for protecting him as he heals. Thank you for the many who have visited him and spent time with him as I can't be there all of the time.

After cleaning up Elijah's bowl of green beans that he threw in Jim's hospital room, it is time to head to Dr. Holland's. Realizing I had no diapers in tow...my in-laws rescued me and met me at the Dr's with a new diaper. We had met the time limit on the previous one by over an hour . Dr Holland Sr (can I tell you how much I adore this man...full of the love of Christ...and so warm and kind) looked down Elijah's throat...."yep, big nasty tonsils...tonsilitis" then he looked in Elijah's ears...took out the tube sitting in one of the ear canals and said "and an ear infection too!". Hmmmm, I think I let this go on a bit to long as mommy guilt washes over me. I had been thinking it was allergies for the last month or so. Wondering if I want to do surgery for a tonsilectomy and tubes before Christmas, I call Jim who says um yes it will only cost us $50 if we do it before the New Year. I'm thinking it will cost more emotionally and physically. (By the way all of the other Robertson crew have had their tonsils out and 3/4 have tubes). Prescription in tow, I head to Food Pyramid to see another awesome Godly man Mark Jones who begins to work on filling it for me.

6. Jesus thank you for awesome Godly men who love you and are trained as care givers for our family. Thank you for Dr. Fu, Dr. Holland Sr., Dr. Jelley , and Mr. Jones who all take such great care of our family! Most of all thank you that you are the Great Physician and the ultimate healer of the one condition that can't be cured by man...our sin!

Back in the car from the freezing cold...Elijah all buckled up I turn the keys in the ingition and the car doesn't start. Radio is on, lights, heater...but not the engine. I try again and nothing. Hmmmm what should I do now. It is to cold to walk home with Elijah. I laughed out loud while silently praying and then looked up as God provided my inlaws to be in the parking lot of Albertson's! Isn't God good! Anyways, I remembered that the alternator/starter was replaced a few months ago, but my dad had showed me a trick on how to place the car in neutral, remove the emergency break and then literally rock the suburban back and forth on it's wheels to move the firing wheel. SO I tried my handy dandy rememdy and the suburban started. Praise God! I went to pick up kids and didn't turn off the car until it was in my garage. I have an appointment on Friday with Malone's...since they "fixed" it two months ago!

I am home...exhausted. I give Elijah his medicines and put Elijah and Hope down for a nap. Then the Lord provides sweet blessings of a fresh baked pumpkin pie from the Pott's family and hot ham and bean soup from my next door neighbor Shari Lee. I got in a short nap as well. Thank you Lord for your sweet provision. "Yet You are Holy, O You who are enthroned upon the praises of Israel. In You our fathers trusted; They trusted and You delivered them. To You they cried out and were delivered; In You they trusted and were not disappointed."

Isn't it good God doesn't give us anything more than we can handle or endure. That God wants us to turn to Him with our every need. Looking out at this broken world and the overwhelming needs of it to KNOW the Lord Jesus Christ weigh heavily on my heart. I think daily of the hardships of orphans, widows, and families in other countries that are persecuted and forsaken. Perspective. My day was a tad bit crazy but pales in comparison to the real chaos that Satan stirs up in this world. Lord may our lives honor you in everyway. May the abundant blessings of living in this country not dull our senses and lead us away from you. May our hearts burn passionately to share your message with those around us and may we be used by you to make a Kingdom impact. Help us to be bold and shed off anything that keeps us from being used by you in this world for your glory.. Thank you Lord for the ultimate gift of your Son and the sacrifice of his life for my sin.

Give thanks to the Lord, call on his name; make known among the nations what he has done. 1 Chronicles 16:8
Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34
Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name. Psalm 100:4
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

"Jesus is Broken in My Heart"

"Jesus is Broken in My Heart" Hope told me today. Emma and Carter had just left for piano lessons and Elijah was at Nana and Papa's house. It was one of those God ordained moments that I almost shrugged off and played up as silly...when I actually paused and listened to that inner voice that said "pursue this conversation further." I walked by her as she was laying on the couch and she said "I am playing doctor ... Jesus is broken in my heart" As I assured her that the true Jesus could never be "broken" in our hearts that He comes to heal our hearts from sin, she pondered that for our moment and said I want the not broken Jesus in my heart. So we talked a little bit more and I asked her if she wanted to follow me in prayer. As my sweet little red headed 3 year old prayed with me I realized that all of the events of this ordinary day were ordained by the amazing God of the universe. He knew that for a rare moment, Hope and I would be alone together and able to talk. For a rare moment...this "busy" mom would take a moment to actually listen to the prompting of the Holy Spirit and pursue the things that matter. Our family just grew bigger eternally...the angels are rejoicing, a new name has been added to the Book of Life and this ordinary, sinful mommy is humbled by the way our almighty God of the universe works in extraordinary ways. Hopey I love you so much and our Awesome God has an even greater, deeper love for you precious one.

Catching Up

This week I feel as if I have been spinning my wheels trying to "catch up" . The catch up to what question has been on my heart today....catch up so I can relax and play on the floor more with the younger kids, catch up so that I can be more intentional and creative in my time with Emma and Carter. Catch up on house cleaning so I can be organized more for the next moment....perhaps that is the wrong perspective. Instead of living in my mommy world of chaos...I want to try and remove the chaos and be more purposeful and intentional of my interactions with those who are around me. Taking time to look at their faces and love them as they interact with me. I want to build their character up in Christ and share with them the love he has for them. I fear that if I spend to much time trying to "catch up" that I am going to spend some years completely missing the treasure of this time.


By the way... I miss my dear friend kipplyn....she is on an adventure of her own right now in Costa Rica. I have enjoyed reading her blog and treasure any emails or pictures I get from her. It is really strange for me not being able to pick up the phone and chat with her several times a day. I definetly realize how much I value her steadfastness and faithfulness as a friend.

Disappointment

Having been battling discouragement at my house lately in the arena of homeschooling, housekeeping, self-keeping, and child-keeping. I found this article to be very encouraging today from the Homeschool Minute.

"When I am disappointed in myself, I have been thinking too much of myself and have forgotten that in myself is no good thing. I need to refocus my attention on God Himself, for there is nothing in Him that can disappoint. When I am disappointed in my children it is usually because I have set aside the task of making good disciples of my children and instead am trying to make good students. Disappointment in our children's achievements or lack of them or in their behavior can be a sign to us to stop what we are doing for awhile and make a disciple of that child. Sometimes we are disappointed in others because we have a set of silent rules that become the line on which all others must walk. Maybe they don't even see the line we have drawn yet we hold them to walking that line in our own imagination! Maybe you should never have drawn that line. If you find yourself disappointed, redraw your line heavenward. Get shoulder to shoulder with Him and learn His ways and let Him carry your load. When He steps, you step. Walk His line. You will never be disappointed in Him. In fact, when you are disappointed and you turn to Him, you will find that even the disappointments in life can be sweet because they drew you even closer to the Savior. People will fail you, your children will fail you, your family and friends will fail you. You will fail yourself. He will never fail you. Thus my heart was grieved, and I was pricked in my reins. So foolish was I, and ignorant: I was as a beast before thee. Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.Psalms 73:21-25 "

Sometimes, God allows us to go though painful circumstances. I quickly discover a realistic knowledge of my limitations and my need for God every second of every day. IF I could handle all of this, again I wouldn't need him. Now I am looking to Him to handle all of my Anxiety of the Unknown and FEAR of the future. Are we not so glad that we are only given the hear and now of our lives. The Holy Spirit, our Comforter, is the One to bring us this peace from God. Peace and confidence come through prayer Phil 4:6-7 and from trusting in God. Psa 23:1-6. When we face such trials God’s intent is not to leave us faithless, but to leave us full of faith. God wants us to encourage one another to keep us from sin (Heb 3:12-13). God called each of us–He chose me–He chose you–Imagine, he looked all over the earth and chose us! You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth, And called from its remotest parts And said to you, ‘You are My servant, I have chosen you and not rejected you. (Isaiah 41: 9) He tells us not to look anxiously at our circumstances but to rely on Him. God is aware of the cares of this world, and that we need help dealing with them. He promises to strengthen us. Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41: 9-10)
Encouraging Links:
Landmind of Fear: Charles Stanly Sermon Video
Landmind in the Path of the Believer: Fear Outline
Landmind in the Path of the Believer: Life Principle Notes
Counsel Concerning Our Cares
Bible Verses on Anxiety
Jer 17:8 He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.
Psalm 55:22 Cast your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.
Psalm 127:2 It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives to his beloved sleep.
Matt 6:31 Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
Matt 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.
Matt 10:19 When they deliver you over, do not be anxious how you are to speak or what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour.
Luke 12:11 And when they bring you before the synagogues and the rulers and the authorities, do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say.
Luke 12:22 And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on.
I Peter 5:6-7 And God will exalt you in due time, if you humble yourselves under his mighty hand by casting all your cares on him because he cares for you.
Phil 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.
1 Cor 7:32 I want you to be free from anxieties.

Swimming with Thoughts

I am swimming today. I am having a hard time keeping my mind on task to accomplish the things I need to do. I feel like canceling every activity we have going on this week and hibernating in my house. Getting out...going out...wears me out. The kids are tired today from a busy but yet great weekend. They are cranky, whiny, and crying. Jim called from Minneapolis. Told me his face is drooping and feeling like pins and needles. I am wondering why the Dr. won't start him on some strong Prednisone. I am praying the results of the MRI come back quickly tomorrow morning and that he is able to get into the doctor sooner than October 9th. All these questions are swimming in my mind. I am very concerned about him traveling so much the next few weeks. I am worried it is going to wear him down physically even more. What does life look like for us right now....do we need to slow down...bow out...Is that what Satan wants us to do?

I love to be all alone and here the sound of quiet....but tonight the anxiety of life is welling up inside of me. Me who never sits down couldn't seem to rise up from the chair to even mop the kitchen floor. I can totally see why people turn to drugs and alcohol as an escape from reality. I want to escape the reality of life occasionally. I don't want to be a whiner and complainer...but the questions of what next medically are beginning to plow me under. I am blessed with dear friends and family that help to watch out for Carter...which is so wonderful when I do get distracted. Funny though....I KNOW that I can't handle all of this....I KNOW that God didn't give me this plate for me to handle either. It is only in HIS strength and HIS grace that I personally will be able to move forward with the next minute. He knows that if I could handle this....I would and wouldn't choose to lean on Him. I am so glad that our awesome Lord only gives us life minute by minute. The future of today and tomorrow are in His hands. On that alone I rest. Lord I pray for Dr.'s with wisdom and insight over Jim's health. Lead them and guide them towards answers and the proper treatment for his body. Father I pray for divine intervention from you to HEAL Jim and restore health to his face, joints, and body. I know that you can do this. Please Lord make this man whole in You.