It is all Good: You are my strength, my portion, my Deliverer.

God has been moving in our lives, in the midst of loss of health, financial security, and other areas. I can truly praise Him because He alone is good no matter what our earthly circumstances pose. He is good all the time, all the time He is good. In the midst of pain and suffering, He is refining and loving and showing us more of Him and prayerfully changing us to be more like Him. We begin to see truth as we have never known it before and know beyond a shadow of a doubt all things pale compared to knowing and living for the One True God. It is a humbling experience to be broken but the True Gospel has a healing balm for all believers. We were created to glorify Him and this is my prayer in all of my life that I may bring Him glory no matter what the "circumstances" around me may be.

We have sold our home to a dear Christian couple. We are moving sometime in the next month or so to somewhere :) Jim is interviewing for several different jobs. A few that would require him to travel again. We are all disheartened by the thought that he would be on the road again, but if this is "the job" I know that several people need to hear about our Lord. He is also interviewing this morning for a job in Tulsa that we are praying for. I am joking now that we are "jobless and homeless" but it is a great, freeing, humbling place to be. I KNOW God as our provider and sustainer. This experience has brought me to know new truths of our Lord and I am so grateful.

My strength, my portion, my help in time of need

I will trust Him at all times.
He has delivered me from all fear.
He has set my feet upon a rock.
And I will not be moved,
And I'll say of the Lord:

You are my shield,
My strength, my portion, Deliverer.
My shelter, strong tower,
My very present help in time of need.

Whom have I in heaven but You?
There's none I desire besides You.
And You have made me glad
And I'll say of the Lord:

My very present help in time of need.
My very present help in time of need.
My very present help in time of need.

Here is a post from John Piper that I took from my friend Marci's face book page. He is powerful and speaks a truth that is real.

Falling on My Knees

Nope, we have not heard a word. Silence on the job front line. Still waiting. A few leads here and there. I am ready to see what God provides for us, but He has us in a holding pattern. I am still trusting alone in His provision. I know His time is not our time, probably a very good thing indeed. I would rush and jump in and then think about it with regret later. I have been falling on my knees a lot, wrestling with anxiety, hope, trust, faith, mixed in with worry.

You know I can't finish without another worship song that tugs at my heart and puts my mind in focus.

Hungry by Kathryn Scott
Hungry, I come to you
For I know You satisfy
I am empty, but I know
Your love does not run dry

So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for

Broken, I run to You
For Your arms are open wide
I am weary, but I know
Your touch restores my life

So I wait for you
So I wait for You
I’m falling on my knees
Offering all of me
Jesus, You’re all this heart is living for

Desert Song

I was listening to the words of this song tonight and my heart cried out echoing them. We touched on this in our Saturday morning bible study today. Here are the lyrics:

Verse 1:
This is my prayer in the desert
And all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides

Verse 2:
And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames

Chorus:
And I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon forged against me shall remain

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

Verse 3:
And this is my prayer in the battle
And triumph is still on it's way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

Bridge:
All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

Verse 4:
This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be empited again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

May's Birthday Celebration

My baby turns 10 this month! I can't believe it. I just finished my desktop screensaver from the shabby shoppe and wanted to share! She looks so grown up. Sniffle, Sniffle!

Ethiopia or Bust

Ethiopian Orphans from Simon Scionka on Vimeo.

I have recently gotten back in touch with my friend Tanya. Tanya and her husband Tony are an amazing couple. They were high school sweethearts who married out of school. They both attended KU and Tony went on to medical school and is now a pediatric physician. Tanya and I grew up together in Bartlesville and as little girls we took ballet together. Later God wove our path together at KU as we both worked toward our OT degrees at KU medical center. After Jim and I were married, we spent a lot of time with Tony and Tanya as newlywed couples at Heartland Community Church in Kansas City. As God has moved our families to different parts of the country, it is really fun to reconnect and see how God is working in their lives. Currently, they are on a journey to adopt and bring home a child from Ethiopia. The Pruitt's journey is amazing and I wanted to include a link to her blog http://sixpruitts.blogspot.com/ named A Long Obedience. Take some time and check it out. Grab your kleenex box and be ready for God to move in your heart.

Scared - A Novel on the Edge of the World from Children's HopeChest on Vimeo.

Here are some unknown facts about Ethiopia.

* Did you know in Ethiopia
* * There is approx. 1 doctor for every 24,000 children
* * Ethiopia has approx. 4.3 million orphans and the country is twice the size of Texas
* * Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school
* * The median age in Ethiopia is 18
* * 1 in 6 children die before their fifth birthday
* * 1 in 10 children die before their first birthday

If you are called to make a difference, check out these websites:
http://www.adoptionsbygladney.com
http://www.compassion.com/
http://www.shoesfororphansouls.org/
http://www.ahopeforchildren.org/
http://www.mochaclub.org/
http://www.5for50.com/
http://www.wheelchairfoundation.org/
http://www.charitywater.org/
http://www.worldorphans.com/

Blessed Be Your Name

Here are two of my favorite worship songs. I am worshiping God today for who He is. I am humbled by His provision and His Love.

Waiting, Melting, and Being Challenged

"I wait silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation; He is my defense; I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory; The rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God. Trust in Him at all times, you people; Pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. " Psalm 62:5

One of the hardest things to do in life, is to wait. Especially for me. I have NO patience. Our very nature wants what it wants when we want it. When our deliverance from a situation seems to take longer than we think it should, the battle rages in our mind between trust and fear. This is exactly where I am, in a battle between trust and fear.

My husband got home Tuesday night from his interview and he said it went well. Yeah! This would normally be good news for most people. I just happened to choose that moment to have a spiritual and emotional "melt down". See, I didn't get as much information from him as I would have liked. (Wives do we ever?) I also realized in that moment, that I had another unknown date to wait for until he A. got a phone call that offered him the job and B. well you know, the other alternative. Inside, I was broken that we didn't seem to be any closer to the end of this particular journey and honestly I was a little peeved.

After Carter's diagnosis and all of our crazy history, I rarely cry any more, but the past few days I think the flood gate has broken loose. My husband is unsure of what to do with me and is keeping a healthy and safe distance. He really is a wise man :) I can relate highly to Psalms 69:2-3 which states "I sink in deep mire, Where there is not standing; I have come into deep waters, Where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; My throat is dry; My eyes fail while I wait for God." As I have been chewing on this verse, I realized that my eyes do NEED to fail me. Because if I look at my circumstances with human eyes, I can mire in worry, anxiety, and fear but If I trust in His Name, His AMAZING Provision and His plan for the Robertson family then I have no fear. It is through this journey that Faith is being built, prayerfully His character being developed, and I am being changed more like Him and less like my selfish nature.

I also realized that I am such an Israelite wandering in the desert. God has continuously blessed our family in amazing ways and yet, I am still quietly grumbling over His plan. So I had another heart to heart today laying everything out on the floor broken in front of me. The I don't want to move from this house, I don't want to move from this city, I don't want to, I don't want to, I don't want to...you get the picture. (Yes the house IS God's house and I would give it up if I am called. Honestly, I am just too darn lazy/weary and tired to pack up this family of 6 for the 6th time in 8 years. Especially now that my awesome momma organized my house and I can actually find something and we just planted a garden). I digress. The underlying root of my three year old rant is lack of TRUST in my Lord and still fear of the unknown. As I was reading today through different articles on learning to wait on God, I was reminded of David who throughout the Psalms had to convince himself anew EVERYDAY that God would take care of him. Of course I am thankful that I literally am not being hunted and marked for death, but I was reminded of what a spiritual battle that I am in. My eyes need to be blinded to the things around so that my HEART can worship and Trust in God's Amazing Plan and His Amazing Provision, no matter where that is or what that looks like. Hmmm, easier to write out than to live out in the flesh:)

Isaiah 30:18 "Therefore the LORD waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the LORD is a God of justice; blessed are all those who wait for him."

Isaiah 26:3-5
You keep him in perfect peace
whose mind is stayed on you,
because he trusts in you.
Trust in the LORD forever,
for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.

Lamentations 3:21-26
21 But this I call to mind,
and therefore I have hope:
22 The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
24 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul,
"therefore I will hope in him."
25 The LORD is good to those who wait for him,
to the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should wait quietly
for the salvation of the LORD.

Psalms 27:13-14
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord in the
land of the living
Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the LORD!

I will end with this quote mainly for my own benefit!! "God is never late, but seldom early".

Praying Today for My Husband

"All Your Worries" by Thao Cosgrove
www.scrapgirls.com

God's Amazing Provision for Our Lives

"Wait Upon the Lord, Be strong and take Heart and wait upon the Lord" Psalm 27:14

We have been waiting upon the Lord for His provision of a job for Jim. It has been hard for me to wait but it has challenged my faith and courage to know for sure that my amazing God is really who He says He is. God's provision for our everyday needs has blown me away and strengthened Jim and I in countless ways. Below are some of the things I have learned and the amazing ways God has provided for our needs and humbled my heart.

First of all, I have learned with every hardship comes blessings. Our blessing through not having a job right now, equates lots of family time. Though there were growing pains to begin with, we have adapted into quite a comfortable routine. I love having my husband home and watching him interact with the kids. I also love having him around for myself as well. We are the best of friends. Bionic man is also a pretty handsome guy and it has been great to fall in love with him all over again. We have had really good discussions, challenged each other spiritually in different areas, handled the kids like a professional parenting team "What did your dad say about that?" and also fought like cats and dogs :) Which in turn reveals my sinful nature and the need I have for my Savior! I will really miss him when he returns to work full time :) (Which again will be a HUGE BLESSING!)

One of the things Jim and I have learned over the past few weeks is how faithful God is. During a precepts bible study with Carter this month, one of the topics we discussed was not taking the Lord's name in vain. Exodus 20:7 states "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not leave him unpunished who takes His name in Vain. The lesson went on to say "Taking God's name in vain is the opposite of hallowing it. When you take God's name in vain, you are disbelieving, denying, and distorting the truth about God. The name of the Lord is not just a title, but it is how God makes Himself known to us. His name tells us WHO He is. It tells us about His character.

When you don't believe what God says about Himself, then you are taking His name in vain because you are thinking wrong thoughts about Him. An example of disbelieving God would be to say, "God , doesn't care about my needs." Did you know one of God's names means He is our Provider? So when you say God doesn't care about my needs, you are thinking wrong thoughts about God and are disbelieving Him and his provision. You are taking His name in vain. "

Kay Arthur "Lord, Teach Me to Pray for Kids" p.42

Jim and I were both kind of stunned with that. It sunk in that when we allow anxiety and worry to creep into our thoughts about the future and how are needs are going to be met, we are literally taking His name in vain by not trusting in Him as our Jehovah Jireh (provider). So every time we start to get anxious about a job, money, insurance, health etc...we remind ourselves and each other who are provider is. And you know what, in comes this amazing peace and sense of security as we have been learning to lean on God.

On that note, I want to share some of the AMAZING ways God has provided for our family during the past month or so. Some of this has been hard for me to except as I feel like we are not desperate, deserving because there are so many others who are suffering, or poverty stricken. God has been teaching me though to rely on Him for everything moment to moment. This is one area, he has really stretched me in.

First, a friend of ours provided us with half of a cow for our freezer.

Second, we had grocery money given/forced upon us for two weeks worth of groceries. I say forced because it was SO hard for me to except it thinking we didn't need that just yet...we still have savings and severance to live off of. Now in July, it may be a different story :) But God was providing manna for us and so I praised Him for expanding my box of comfort.

Third, our garage sale was overwhelmingly fruitful. Huge praises to my mom who gave us hours of her time to force me to reconcile with the stuff and chaos in my house! When we were done, I even alphabetized our books and CD collection.

Fourth, a friend called me out of the blue and gave me a load of new or hardly worn size 8 shorts and clothes for Carter that are "so cool and camo".

Fifth, we were able to get our air conditioner fixed in the suburban for under $100. WhooHoo! Your body does adjust to wind and warmth but it is really nice to be cool...actually I am freezing now but what a blessing! We were willing to go without a.c. this summer thinking it was going to be a thousand plus expense.

Sixth, a dear friend dropped off bread in our mailbox from the Harvest Bread Company.

Seventh, our electric meter apparently wasn't working for a time. The guy who checks the meters, knocked on the door last month to let me know he was replacing ours. I was really nervous thinking our bill was going to be ASTRONOMICAL. I prayed about it and when I got the bill this month, we had actually been OVERPAYING and our bill was only, drum roll please...$8.00. Seriously only God can do that!

Last, I wanted to stop at Sonic the other day during happy hour, my wise husband looked at me and I realized that it was really not a "need". We came home and walked in the door and what do you know...our neighbor called out of the blue with 2 large cherry limeades that he bought for his family. Apparently, when he got home with the drinks, his family was not there. For those that know me, I really was blown away by this little "coincidence"

My point is that I have kept God in a box for way to long. I have been humbled and blown away by His love, grace, and continued provision and protection of our family. I was able to challenge a friend the other day going through a difficult trial and questioning her need for control over finances and need to make money. I asked her "Is God really who He says He is in your life, if He is than you have to release control and trust Him to provide." He will do it in unbelievable and surprising ways and He will met your NEEDS. Sometimes not your "wants" but your needs.

On that note, Jim has a job interview on Tuesday that we would appreciate prayers for. If this is the new tapestry that God is weaving in our lives, I will have a very cool story to blog about :) This interview has been in the makings for almost 5 months now. God has impressed the lesson on my heart of waiting for His timing and praising Him in the meantime. Please see my earlier posts. The interview was scheduled almost 4 weeks ago. Again, I had to put on my waiting stance. I realized though that this has given Jim's hair an opportunity to grow out over his incisions and will help him avoid the questions of "Did you have brain surgery lately or what !" So that is probably a very good thing :) We are really excited and hopeful about the opportunity for Jim to possibly work at this company. It has some really neat Godly men and is still located in Oklahoma :) So if it is God's will, please pray that He will find a place to use my husbands talents in this company for His glory and be offered the job. We continue to "wait upon the Lord, and be strong and take heart, and wait upon the Lord." Psalm 27:14

I also have another prayer request regarding Carter's pump supplies. We have a very low supply of transfer sets which is the tubing that connects from the pump to the infusion set he wears in his body. I called the diabetic supply office trying to get a refill on just the transfer sets and apparently the company quit selling those individually. I heard as well that they are discontinuing the pump that Carter wears. (You would think I would get better at changes, but this one is hard for me). Long story as short as possible, I have to get a new script from the doctor tomorrow to try and beat the insurance clock so that we can continue to get the supplies covered under Durable Medical Equipment. Without that approval, his pump supplies almost equal a small house payment. :( So if you would pray for that to be approved that would be very helpful. I know regardless, God will take care of my little man and all of his diabetic needs. I take comfort in the fact that God loves and cares for him even more than I do. He is in His hands. I also know that He alone will provide for Carter's needs. I am sure I will have a neat story to share about that as well :)

We are still here, waiting upon the Lord for His plan and His purpose for our lives. We appreciate your prayers. He is Good all the time, All the Time, He is Good!

John Waller - While I'm Waiting Lyrics

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Spring Cleaning Mania! Beware

This is Little Red and the contents of her purse aka hidden treasures. Can you believe all of the stuff she crams in there and all of the RANDOM things she does put in there! It is really fun when she carries it to various places and proceeds to empty the contents and play with them. :)

It has been a while since I have posted. We have been busy tearing through our house and cleaning with my mom's amazing help. I have seen places of this house I have not seen since we moved in. My poor mother..."she didn't raise me this way" but let me just say with four kiddos, homeschooling, and really LIVING LIFE everyday in our house chaos sometimes wins over. So she put on a brave front and kept us going and working through the worst of it. Sometimes, I wanted to close the door and NEVER look back. I had that feeling in the girls room. The little packrats had "stuff" everywhere. Let me warn you it was quite the challenge. After 5 very long hours, we had things sorted, trashed, and piled in heaps for the garage sale. Little Red still has her "stash" to keep her sane with her 5 year old nesting habits but I can finally breathe relief when I step in their room.
Emma's box of stuff?

Things we found under the beds and in the corners of dark, scary places :(

Making progress. Emma is just like me and wanted to take off constantly during the cleaning process. We both are way to easily distracted!

We got it done and 3 weeks later it is still in fairly good shape. That makes me peaceful. Mainly because I don't want to go in that room again and do it over.

Our Fieldtrip to the Oklahoma Aquarium April 2009

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Happy Easter

Here are my two Easter Eggs and bunnies decorated all by themselves for Easter. I don't think I could have done a better job myself! Below is a picture that just cracks me up. I secretly love chickens and miss my Bantam hens a lot so this picture always gives me lots to smile about.

I have been spending this week reflecting and looking toward the future. Some dear friends and I are going to start studying Revelations together. The song "People get ready, Jesus is coming soon we will be going home" has been burned into my mind lately. To me Easter is the most important time of the year as I reflect on the gift of LIFE that I have been given through my Saviour. This world is temporary and soon we are all going home. I am excited!




Lord I'm ready now,
I'm waiting for your triumphant return.
Your coming soon.
This world has nothing for me, I find my peace and joy soley in you.
(Only in you)
I want the world to see, your alive and living well in me.
Let me be apart of the harvest, for the days are few.
Your coming soon.
So people get ready, Jesus is coming.
Soon we'll be going home.
People get ready, Jesus is coming to take from the world his own.
Peple get ready, Jesus is coming.
Soon we'll be going home.
People get ready, Jesus is coming.
Soon we'll be going home.
(We'll be going home.)
There's a day that comes,
when we will be divided right and left...
For those who know him (those who do not know)
Those who know him well will meet him in the air HALeLUja!
God is with us!
Those who do not know...
They will hear, "Depart.. I know you not."
For all my friends, you see...
There will be a day when we'll be counted..
So know him well.... Know him well!
(Chorus)
To take his own (to take his own)
To take his own (to take his own)
We'll be going home ( We'll be going home)
We'll be going home ( We'll be going home)
We'll be going home!
For my friends, you see
There will be a day when we'll be counted.
So know him well, Know him well!
(Chorus)
People get ready!

History Repeats Itself

HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF
by
Bodie and Brock Thoene

Dear Thoene Friend,
Scripture tells us, “Woe to those who call good ‘evil,’ and who call evil, ‘good.’”

Those of you who have read The Zion Covenant have already seen and recognized in our own time that the history of tyranny is indeed repeating itself.

Over the course of 25 years we have researched and written about the destruction of the German Republic and its constitution….THROUGH LEGISLATION!

You asked us for specifics. Is there any historical precedent for the present Democrat-controlled U.S. Congress giving massive bailout loans to banks and to industry?

Back to that question in a moment.

This week the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury, Geitner, demanded from Congress that he be given the PERSONAL power to regulate and nationalize U.S. banks and all financial institutions. The U.S. Secretary of the Treasury also wants to have the power to decide what is a “good” business and which businesses should be taken over by the government!

President Obama agrees with this! Obama believes Geitner, the tax evader, should have this power over U.S. business!
At Obama’s demand Geitner’s power would include the authority to shut down U.S. companies at a whim! Do you own a small business? Mr. Geitner would be able to shut you down!

The magnitude of the Obama Administration’s tyrannical power-grab has never before been witnessed in American history.

Review this example:
Obama forces Wagoner out as GM CEO; 31-year career is over
by JUSTIN HYDE and TIM HIGGINS • FREE PRESS BUSINESS WRITERS • March 29, 2009

President Barack Obama's rescue plan for Detroit automakers will be unveiled Monday, but one condition became clear today: the resignation of General Motors Corp. Chairman and Chief Executive Rick Wagoner.

As a condition for additional government aid to GM, the Obama administration asked Wagoner to step aside, which Wagoner agreed to do today, people familiar with the plan said. Wagoner’s move, effective immediately, ends a 31-year career with GM.

Not since President Franklin Roosevelt considered taking control of Ford Motor Co. in 1943 from a failing Henry Ford has the federal government pushed for such sway in the management of Detroit’s automakers. (emphasis added)

The tack suggests a hard-nosed approach from the Obama administration toward the automakers, bondholders and the UAW, all of whom have yet to reach agreements on key concessions, despite months of talks.

Obama will unveil the new rescue plan for GM and Chrysler in a White House ceremony this morning.


And there you have it. The President of the United States is now DICTATING who will run General Motors. Obama is saying there will be NO Government FINANCIAL HELP FOR General Motors UNLESS they dump the CEO! Obama has the power to destroy the 31-year-career of a man who ran a great American company while the corrupt U.S. Congress ran the business of America into the ground.

We will say this plainly: Barak Hussein Obama has, in nine weeks, proven to us that he is a tyrant. He is now assuming dictatorial powers over our lives and businesses which NO PRESIDENT has EVER assumed in the history of our nation. BY new LAWS enacted by a Democrat Congress, Obama, son of a Kenyan Muslim, is now ignoring WE THE PEOPLE and taking over every corner of our lives. Our Constitutional rights are in shambles.

Has anything like this ever happened in another country? If so, what was the result?

We searched our historical news files and found this headline from Germany in 1935….


Wireless to THE NEW YORK TIMES.
February 22, 1935, Friday
Page 11, 598 words

HITLER AUTHORIZES HUGE FORCED LOAN; Gives Finance Minister Wide Power to Raise Up to Billion Marks to Provide Jobs.

BERLIN, Feb. 21. -- Reichsfuehrer Adolf Hitler empowered the Finance Minister, in a decree passed by the Cabinet today, to float a new loan of between 750,000,000 and 1,000,000,000 marks. [The mark was quoted here yesterday at 40.28 cents.]


It isn’t really necessary to spell out the conclusion of the comparison is it?

To sum up:
Do not be silent. You must not remain silent. Tyranny threatens your American Constitution. Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Benjamin Franklin would not believe what these Democrat-agogues are doing to Freedom today!

Stand and be heard, Americans! Your nation and the world are in peril!

Blessings in The Mighty Name of Jesus!

Bodie and Brock
www.familyaudiolibrary.com

My Husband, The Bionic Man

My husband, Bionic Man, is in a clinical trial for Occipital Nerve Implants. The implants are being studied to reduce or eliminate quickly hemiplegic migraines and cluster migraines. So as a friend of mine reminded me, we are braving the new frontier of science to prayerfully help those who suffer from these things in the future. The great part about the implants is that they are working. When Bionic man gets a headache, he turns on his little machine and waves it over the battery. The battery turns on and the electric wires up his spine and into his head send out electric impulses into the occipital nerve that quickly diminish the pain from the headache. This is a great thing for him since these headaches when they persist for days on end cause paralysis in the right side of his body and other fun symptoms. :) Obviously, the symptoms go away in time but it is really not a fun condition for him to live with. Bionic man is TOUGH and RARELY complains of a headache or quits working. This is probably to his detriment. So we usually all figure it out as the right side of his face is drooping as well as his speech.
Bionic man had the initial surgery the first part of January. It is a blind study in which some of the patients received a placebo device that was not activated. God heard our pleading and allowed himto have a device that was turned on and it worked!!! After three weeks, the electrodes slipped out and moved down into his left shoulder. When he turned on his machine, he got a nice electric shock in his left shoulder that sent him to the floor. It was actually quite amusing if you have our twisted since of humor. The second part wasn't so fun though as we had to go back to Springfield in February and have the electrodes re-anchored into his skull. This time, they used very large anchors to get it to "stick." It stuck so well, that the wire on the left side of his head decided to expose itself on the outside of Bionic man's skin. (Not a good thing :( ) At this point, I guess the risk of infection was HUGE and the neurosurgeon and his staff were pretty much freaking out telling us to get back to Springfield ASAP. Easier said than done with 4 kids to take care of but I am grateful for all the help :)


Currently, we are HOME from Springfield. The Bionic Man is all intact. He no longer has any wires that are poking out of his head. This obviously is a good thing. We checked into the hospital at 1 pm yesterday with no time to spare. They were already paging us to the surgical area :) Once we got settled (I say we) I really meant Bionic man back into his handsome hospital gown with the giant gap in the back, everyone wanted to see the Bionic Man with the wires sticking out the back of his head. After the novelty wore off, the charge nurse read the order for the day's surgery which included removing the entire device. She explained we would have the option of coming back in two or three months and redoing the entire thing. At this point, I got into my pitbull with lipstick mind frame and apologized for my rant ahead of time and said "Oh no, we are NOT going to go home without this device because it is working (PTL). I said they were going to have to talk with the neurosurgeon and come up with a different answer for us because that wasn't going to work."

The neurosurgeon came in to talk with us. He was already scheduled for another surgery before ours and that patient had to wait a bit. Doc used several colorful words to describe what he saw in Bionic man's head. He could not believe that we were back and that the wire was exposed. Doc scratched his head and was as frustrated as we felt. He tugged on the exposed wire in Bionic man's head hard and it didn't budge. Doc was rather pleased with the anchors he put in last time. "Hell they are strong." he said. Doc laid out our options, stated the risk for infection with the exposed wire, stated his inability to tell whether it was connected to the right or the left side. Listened to our impassioned pleas and said he would go ahead and redo the entire surgery again with new wires and electrodes. I will spare you the rest of the gory, long details but after 3 long hours, he was reattached and the device was buzzing in his head just fine. Doc told me that Bionic Man scars "like a freakin mother" He said he was amazed at how much scar tissue the man had and that he just kept having to use his knife to cut it all away. I said I believed it. He always has bad keloid scars. So here is what Bionic Man looks like right now with a ton of wire hidden up under his skin and a battery as big as a cell phone in his back. Isn't that cool? I love technology. I think it is amazing how well this works. So here is to future research...clinical trials.... and prayerfully no more hemiplegic migraines. Please continue to pray that his body does not reject any of these foreign objects and that no wires come to the surface again.
This is where the battery for the device is and where the wires are screwed in that run up the spine.
These are the beautiful incisions where the wires attach to the electrodes and where the electrodes are anchored to his skull. Doc was able to use the original anchors because they were fastened in so tightly!

While We are Waiting

We had the opportunity to share Sunday night about our homeschool journey to parents who are interested in knowing more about it. One of the questions that was posed to Jim and I and another couple was "How do you expose them to the real problems of life? I mean they are never going to experience the conflicts that kids deal with today in the schools. How are they going to grow and mature as Christians?" After a pause to reflect, I answered to him that we literally live LIFE with our children. In the past 4 years, my husband has had a stroke and literally the Lord only know how many surgeries, my son has been diagnosed with a high maintenance incurable disease, we have had dear friends lose their children, my husband has traveled on the road for 10 years Sunday thru Thursday, we had 4 kids somehow during that time, and currently we are trusting God for employment. I don't know how much "realer" life gets than that I said, but we have walked this road as a family. I encourage my children to see God's hand in all of these things and how He has used it for His glory. They have seen the good, the bad, and the really sinful side of their mom and dad but most of all I pray that when they go through hard times (and they will), they will know that they can always "Trust in the name of the Lord our God."

We are going back to Springfield. We need prayers today. Jim asked me to look at one of the incisions on his head last night. Low and behold, the wire is sticking out through the scar. There is close to an inch of exposed wire. After calling Clinvest last night, we got an urgent phone call this morning asking for Jim to come back in immediately. Apparently the risk of infection is VERY high and we have to go back to Springfield tomorrow and have yet another surgery. Right now the neurosurgeon is saying that he will have to remove the lead (leed) and that Jim can have ANOTHER surgery later to have them put back in. We DON”T want this to happen. We are praying that they can just move the lead over to another incision site instead of removing everything. The device is working amazingly well. So please pray that God will take Jim’s body under his amazing protection and there will be no risk of infection to his brain or anywhere else. The staff at Clinvest and the Neurosurgeon are kind of freaking out about the risk of infection. Pray that Dr. Baker won’t have to remove everything and that the device can stay intact. Please pray for my sanity. Please pray for anything else that may come to mind as I really can’t think.

Regarding our current job situation or lack there of :). Jim has a strong lead that we have been praying for. If this is an open door for Jim, then it will all work in His time and would be amazing. If not, there is a different plan and direction and we will continue to trust in His provision for our family. I appreciate your prayers and would ask that everyone would continue to hold us up in prayer as we seek to go where God ultimately desires us to be. I know the next chapter is bound to be exciting. The growth that is occurring personally in our lives right now during these challenges is important and prayerfully a witness to those around us. My heart is that this will all be used for His glory in spite of ourselves. My praise is that I love having Jim home with us and so do the kids. What a blessing this time is and God is providing for our needs.

I love the following scriptures. They have challenged me the past few weeks, reminding me that again I am not in control and that I am to "wait for the Lord." His plan is amazing, His grace is sufficient, and He is the only one that can ever meet my needs. The house we live in is His house, the things that we have our His, the food that we eat are His, and I want most of all for me and the rest of my family to be all His. I hope these are encouraging verses for you as they are for me. Blessings to you my friends (and I don't mean materially, I mean the blessing of the Lord spiritually). Again, God is good all the time, and all the time God is good.


Psalm 25:4-5
"Make me know Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your Truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
For You I wait all the day."

Psalm 25:12-22
"Who is the man who fears the Lord?
He will instruct him in the way he should choose.
His soul will abide in prosperity,
And his descendants will inherit the land.
The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,
And He will make them know His covenant.
My eyes are continually toward the Lord,
For He will pluck my feet out of the net.
Turn to me and be gracious to me,
For I am lonely and afflicted.
The troubles of my heart are enlarged;
Bring me out of my distress.
Look upon my affliction and my trouble,
And forgive all my sins.
Look upon my enemies, for they are many,
And they hate me with violent hatred.
Guard my soul and deliver me;
Do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You.
Let integrity and uprightness preserve me,
For I Wait for You.
Redeem Israel, O God,
Out of his troubles."

Psalm 27:5-6
"For in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle;
In the secret of His tent He will hide me;
He will lift me up on a rock.
And now my head will be lifted up above my enemies around me,
And I will offer in His tent sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing, yes, I will sing praises to the Lord."

Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the Lord;
Be strong and let your heart take courage;
Yes, wait for the Lord."



In the meantime we are waiting. That would be a good scene to describe us. I pray that we will move forward serving and worshiping as God would intend us to no matter what our earthly circumstances are.