Robertson Family Christmas 2008

What great memories....and how quickly it all passes. Looking forward to a brand new year filled with new journeys. Blessings to everyone.

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Merry Christmas Everyone!

These cute pictures and the card are by my friend Andrea Mann. If you would like to check out her photography go to www.andreamannphoto.com. Merry Christmas!

Attempting the Family Christmas Picture!!!

Make a Smilebox greeting

I would add commentary...but I think it is more fun to go with the first impressions that pop into your head :)

Mercy Me Bring the Rain

This song hit me today while I was driving. I have heard it before, but today the words seemed to be speaking right to me. Who "enjoys" the rain that comes into our lives? However through that rain, God is reaching out to us, our hearts, and changing us. There is Christmas and then the real celebration of Easter is right around the corner. I want to share this letter written by MaryBeth Chapman. I pray it will touch your heart like it did mine and give you a renewed vision of what LIFE in Him is all about as we all walk through the rain. Blessings.

MARY (beth's) CHRISTMAS LETTER
I have been impressed for quite some time now to write a letter to all of you who have been so present with us in prayer during these last several months as we have grieved and come to terms with the reality that Maria is gone from us, but present with Christ. We honestly don’t like that very much. As we enter this Christmas season and all of the festivities that it brings, it also makes the point even louder that one of us is missing. A stocking that won’t be filled, and less presents under the tree. Maria had a contagious giggle that would fill the room over the wonderment of finding the elf that moves to a different spot every day during the month of December. The reality that the precious laughter of Maria won’t be heard for awhile has been a quiet loudness that screams for Jesus to come quickly…not as a baby in a humble manger, but as the King of all Kings that will wipe all of the confusion and tears from this sad mother’s eyes! I am eagerly anticipating His arrival, but in the meantime, I thought that I would and should update you all on the Chapman family from a mother’s point of view…. in kind of a Merry Christmas fashion!

M – Maria and Stevey asked Jesus into their hearts on February 20th. They wanted to be sure that they were going to SEE God’s BIG BIG House with lots and lots of food!

E – Emily and Tanner were engaged on May 17th - their one-year of dating anniversary. Tanner took Emily to SEE Maine, where his precious grandmother lived. He proposed to her on an airplane…. long story…maybe another day!

R – Ruthy and Will Franklin started dating in March. She is an awesome young woman and has been an unbelievable support to Will during this very difficult time in his life. They are SEEking Christ with their relationship and we love her so much!

R - “Roo”, or Caleb to you all (don’t ask how he got that nickname), graduated from high school in May. He chose to be homeschooled, but CPA (where he attended K-11) invited him to sing at graduation. The Toy Story song, “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”, and a self-penned song titled “Goodbye” were his selections. It was the day after Maria’s funeral and I was so proud of him for following through with his commitment to sing. The funeral was in the exact same sanctuary, and out of respect to our family, the entire graduating class were barefoot in honor of our sweet Maria. You could SEE Christ at work that day!

Y – Yeah Team! GO CPA! Ok, I am a little excited. Will Franklin chose to go back to CPA for his senior year. He decided to play basketball this one last time. For those of you who don’t know, Willy is a talented player who was starting on the team as a sophomore before he decided to homeschool and play drums for Dad. He now starts as a senior, voted a captain, and his team is a state contending team! The best part is that the entire team wear an “M” on their Jersey every game in honor of Maria. They want as many people as possible to SEE Jesus in this story.

C – Caleb and Julia are engaged! November 21st! I tell everyone that Caleb and Julia are elementary sweethearts. They have known each other since elementary school and have been best friends forever. They have only dated each other, and it is about the coolest thing ever! Julia’s family are super close to us and it just doesn’t get much sweeter! Caleb took Julia to Paducah and proposed to her at the exact same spot where Steven proposed to me! I have SEEn God protect and safeguard them. I know He has great plans for their life together!

H – Head em up and move em out! The tour buses that is… Caleb and Will both homeschooled last year so that they could work at what they love! Music! They were hired by a tough boss, SCC, to play in the band. Out they went on the “This Moment” tour. SCC says there is nothing better than to SEE his sons on stage with him. When Will returned to school in the Fall, Caleb continued to play on the “United” tour with SCC and a new boss, affectionately known as Michael W. He enjoyed working with both of these…how should I say it…. Patriarchs!

R – Relationships are all that matter! That is what the Chapmans SEE as one of the main things learned from this year. Things can change so quickly! Do we love well those who are in our circle and out of our circle? Christ put specific people in our path for a specific time and reason. Let’s make sure we SEE every opportunity that comes our way to LOVE WELL!

I – Inspiring. My three oldest children are simply inspiring. Watching first hand and up close my 22, 19, and 17 year olds handle the press as it related to our loss of Maria was simply…. INSPIRING. I watched my children interview with Good Morning America, People Magazine, and Larry King Live. Enough to make a seasoned interviewee struggle with their answers. Not Emily, Caleb, and Will Franklin. The poise and gentleness that they fielded the questions with was simply amazing. They loved well each other, and to watch how they honored their Savior with how they answered the questions was quite humbling. Lots of questions, but the faith they have was definitely displayed for the world to SEE.

S – Stevey and Maria graduated from Pre-school on May 15th. All dressed in caps and gowns! Quite the day to celebrate the upcoming Kindergarten year. They were both presented with diplomas, Bibles, and hugs as they walked across the stage. Stevey said she wanted to be a lifeguard when she grew up. Maria said she wanted to be a ballerina when she grew up. I’d say Maria is dancing right now in the most beautiful of tutus. I only wish I could SEE it!

T – Tanner and Emily were married on October 4th. What a glorious day! Not a cloud in the sky and the weather was perfect. An outdoor ceremony where Stevey Joy released a butterfly in memory of the absent flower girl, Maria. Emily was an absolutely stunning bride, and Tanner was a handsome groom. We celebrated this new family with food and dancing at our barn afterwards. I think it was a picture of what heaven will be like when we are reunited with Christ and the loved ones that we miss so much. Can you imagine what it will be like when we finally get to SEE them again?

M – May 13th Maria turned 5. May 21st Maria left for heaven. We don’t like it at all, and wish with all the wish in us that God would’ve spared us this cross, but for some reason beyond understanding, our family was chosen to walk this journey of suffering out in front of the world. Our only hope is that Christ Himself has been SEEn. Your prayers have been felt. Thanks from the deepest part of our hearts!

A – ASIA. China to be exact! Steven, Caleb, Will, and I went with several others to China for 2 weeks so that Steven could do concerts there! He got to perform at 3 different universities in different parts of China as well as a couple other venues there. We don’t exactly understand why or how (well, God Himself has given favor), but Steven is always welcomed there and is always allowed to sing and perform the exact songs that he would do here in the States. We have huge hearts for China and hope to be spending more time there in the future. You can SEE God at work in the people of China and we feel privileged to be a small part of what He is doing there.

S – Shaohannahs Hope! Continues to be a place where you SEE God himself smile! Emily, Caleb, and Julia have all started to work there this year which is so cool to see your kids loving something so near and dear to your heart. Emily is the International Programs Director and as I write, is meeting with the First Lady of Honduras in Honduras to discuss adoption and orphan care there! Caleb does all the sweet media clips that you SEE about SH! He loves “creating” visual pieces that communicate the SH vision. Julia is the organizational queen administrator! What would we do without someone that is punctual and organized? Maria’s Miracle Fund was established in honor of Maria this year. To date, about $765,000 has been given in her name! Thank you so much for keeping the memory of her full life alive so that others too will live!

As we look to 2009, we have much to be grateful for. Emily and Tanner are praying about Bible College in Ireland, Caleb will marry his lifelong sweetheart, Julia, Will Franklin graduates from high school, Shaoey is going to be double digits (10), and Stevey Joy graduates from Kindergarten! Steven and I will celebrate 25 years of marriage in 2009 as well. I am anticipating a long vacation somewhere warm!

As I anticipate Christmas 2008, I have many thoughts flying through my heart and head. The last several days, my mind has not been able to stop thinking about Mary, the mother of Jesus. Pregnant and scared, knowing that the baby she was carrying eventually would pay the ultimate price of His life. How would I have lived differently if I knew that my time with Maria was going to be this short? Regretfully, I would have lived much differently. I would have purposely hugged and kissed more. I would have tried to memorize and lock away in my heart certain smells and smiles. I would have colored more and worked less. I would have laughed more and fussed less. Bedtime wouldn’t have become a chore to check off the list of things to get done. Instead it would have been more of an opportunity to listen about the day and offer whatever words were needed. The swimming pool wouldn’t have been too cold to swim in. The flowers in the garden would have all been picked, and definitely more ice cream would have been consumed!
I wonder what it was like for Mary after her son’s death. I know she saw him resurrected and was certain of the fact that she would she him again, but she was still his mom. Mary found favor with God; therefore she was chosen to be Jesus’ mom. But because God favored Mary, she was also chosen to suffer. Not just at the crucifixion, but her whole life. She was chosen to carry a baby in her womb, be persecuted and give birth in a dirty stable. Most of the time at Christmas we end the story there…. in the stable, with Mary, Joseph and Jesus receiving their company. Wise men, shepherds, and angels - you get the picture in your head right? The star, the animals, the Nativity! What about the rest of it? Mary, mothering the Son of God! She was human, she had a baby, and she raised that baby with the heaviness that she was to see him suffer and thus she too would suffer. I think when Mary was hiding things in her heart; it was a lot more than the reality of whom she carried in her womb. I am certain that she was hiding away the memories of first smiles and steps, as well as the first tears and tumbles. Knowing what was to come, did Mary have the opportunity to live differently as a mom to her little boy? I believe she did. I am sure that she watched him differently, taught him differently, and prayed differently. I can only imagine the discussions that she and Joseph would have when their son wasn’t listening, how they probably begged God to let the cup pass from them, but in the end yielding up the prayer we all hesitate to pray when it comes to our children…. Your will be done. UGGHH!!!! I don’t want to. I didn’t want to on May 21st, and I still don’t want to now. Yet somehow we did, and somehow we will continue to. I am reminded more than ever this Christmas, that it doesn’t end at the Nativity in Bethlehem in a cozy manger… it is a journey all the way to the cross on the hill in Golgotha on Good Friday.

Christmas for the Chapmans this year represents suffering. For that matter, from here on may we always remember that it represents the ultimate suffering that came. But isn’t it amazing that it is called GOOD Friday? Why is it good if it is full of suffering? Because Easter came on Sunday and what Satan intended for evil, God intended for GOOD! Christmas ultimately ends at Easter and the reality that we will see Maria again! If we are to live as Christ, then we will suffer like Christ. I am thankful this Christmas more than ever for Easter. When all the questions I have will be answered and all the tears I have will be wiped away. Until then, Merry Christmas with the reality that Easter came and all of this suffering will someday be gone in a moment, and all things will become new and right and awesome!
Thanks for your prayers during this journey. It isn’t an easy one and your love and support is continually needed. May you be richly blessed for gracing us with your love.

Longing to be washing dishes in heaven with Maria,
Mary Beth for all the Chapman family

Update on our trip to Springfield

For those of you who don't know, Jim has been accepted into a National Clinical Trial for hemiplegic migraine sufferers. The Headache Care Facility is in Springfield, MO. It is headed by Dr. Curtis Schreiber who is the wonderful man we saw four years ago after we started on this journey. In 2004, Jim had a stroke induced by the medicine he was taking at the time for a hemiplegic migraine. Ever since, we have been searching for triggers and relief that will prevent/lessen these non stop headaches that affect his speech, cause right sided facial and body paralysis, and disrupt his cognitive thinking not to mention incredible pain which he is so good at covering. This man is NOT a complainer. The only reason I can guess he has a headache sometime is when his face is literally drooping.

Jim, Carter, Emma, and I drove to Springfield from Independence, KS on Sunday night. We were so blessed not to have driven in any bad weather. The second after we walked into our room at the Residence Inn, it started to POUR rain, then sleet, and then snow. Jim started his long day with 5 doctors on Monday morning. After many tests, questionnaires, exams, he seemed to them to be the "perfect" candidate for this clinical trial. He was sent home with an electronic diary and he has to record how he feels every day and to qualify for the surgery in January has to have a minimum of 15 headaches out of the next 30 days. (Sadly, that won't be a problem for him.) If all goes as planned, he will have a surgery on January 14th to implant a peripheral nerve stimulation device permanently in his body called an "Advanced Neuromodulation System". The device will be placed under the skin in his hip or back and then a wire the size of yarn, will be threaded up his back and then 4 electrodes will be placed into the occipital area of his brain specifically the occipital and facial nerve area. It is the hope that with the device activated, it will electronically keep the nerve from firing and decrease the pain and the symptoms that occur from the headaches. Though it is outpatient, he will have 3 incisions and is required to shave the back of his head. He is also going to be given local anesthesia because he must be conscious for the entire procedure in order to communicate with the doctor. The neurosurgeon we met with at the end of the day was really great and I feel completely comfortable with him doing the surgery. He was very jovial and friendly.

One of the catches because this is a clinical trial, is that the doctor and us will not know if the actual device they implant is going to be turned on because they need to have a few placebos in the trial. My prayer is that after all of this, we are so hopeful for relief that Jim device will actually be turned on. Please join me in praying for that. 12 weeks after the surgery, all the devices will be turned on however I am specifically praying that the one Jim has is "turned on" at the time of surgery. We are both looking at this as an amazing opportunity that God has provided as a prayerfully a "miracle" cure from all of this. It will also allow him to hopefully get off all of the medicine he is currently on to help curb these headaches and the awful side effects. One of the most amazing parts is this surgery literally costs several hundred thousand dollars and because it is a clinical trial, we don't have to pay a dime. Insurance doesn't cover things like this because it is considered "experimental" so we are grateful for God in opening the door. Now honestly, I am anxious.....seeing the actual device and hearing what they were going to do was a lot more invasive than I had even imagined....even to the point of shaving the hair off with the incisions....but we are really praying this is THE CURE to all of this for Jim.

He won't be able to have an MRI or go through the airport security system because he will have an implanted device but those are just minor things compared to living without pain :)

On another note, Jim and I know that 2009 will bring changes in his job. Whether we are blessed to stay at COP or are employed with someone else please pray that we will listen as God directs our steps (specifically Jim's) and that God will place Jim exactly where he can best be used to glorify Him. I know God will provide for our needs as He is Faithful. It is uneasy to face such things in times of economic chaos in our country and world (especially for me as we have two family members with great medical needs and insurance coverage for Carter and Jim is really a blessing). If God leads Jim to resume traveling every week, please pray for our family unit as we have really grown spoiled to being able to see daddy home most nights now. Pray for me not to be anxious as we face these two huge things.....I must confess I am a little overwhelmed with life this week. As I struggle with my humanness, my sinfulness, and battle my lack of faith, I am reminded constantly as I look back over our lives at God's amazing provision, his love, and how He works ALL things for His glory. Change is the only thing that is guaranteed in this life. I pray every change and road I walk in this life brings me one step closer to Him. We are SO AMAZINGLY BLESSED and I am SPOILED!

I will close with a little letter Emma and I got from Manchona today. I sat on the floor with Emma brought to tears in humility over the things I was worried about reading her letter. Manchona is our 5 year old girl who we sponsor in Zambia.... Emma, "Greetings to you and your immediate family in the name of our Lord Jesus. I sincerely thank you for picking me from among many children as your child in this sponsorship programme. I live with my parents and my young brother in a rural community about 69KM east of Lusaka our major city. I live in a two roomed house made of burnt bricks and a roof of iron sheets. My parents are peasant farmers who grow maise, groundnuts, beans, vegetables, and sweet potatoes. We keep a few goats and chickens as livestock. I enjoy play with toys and baby sitting my younger brother. I would be pleased to hear from you any thing any time. May God bless you. " The sponsor goes on to share how the families here now have clean water to drink because of improved water systems and malnutrition among the children is decreasing because they are teaching them better farming techniques.

The letter ended with a verse that just JUMPED off the page to me. It reminded me as I had literally been in a spiritual wrestling match with my anxiety today that I am to place my Faith in Him with everything....it is an adventure Isaiah 43:19 "Watch for the new thing I am going to do........" That is exciting to me....may I be moldable, flexible, and willing to go, to do, to change.

Now I am Going to Sing Joy To The World :)

Okay my blog all appeared again magically :) Yeah!

My favorite season is here. I LOVE Christmas. I love everything about Christmas minus the chaos of a gazillion activities we seem to entrap ourselves into ....but I do LOVE this season. We baked our first batch of green spritz cookies today. It was a crazy chaotic kitchen with all 5 of us. Emma used her math to double the fractions and tell me what we were going to need to measure out. We talked about the science behind the baking powder and baking soda and just had a great morning. Eli left his imprint all over the kitchen as he got into the food coloring. Around noon, I left everything in a mid stand still to pick up my husband from the ER. I guess he thought it would be okay to sneak down there without telling anyone this morning and get treatment for the migraine he has had for the past 3 weeks. God bless his soul...he needs it for when he wakes up tomorrow, he is going to have to face one mighty ticked off wife.... only for the fact that he 1. drove himself to the ER in the middle of a hemiplegic migraine 2. Told no one and 3. Didn't call until they refused to release him to drive himself home....I am truly thinking these migraines cause a tad bit of cognitive impairment. I don't think I would be so hoppin steamin at him right now if I didn't love him so dog gone much. :) You all know what I mean.

Anyways, tomorrow we have 2 Christmas shows that all of my darlings are in! I had no idea that God would give me such a bunch of showkids. They love to be on stage. All four of them in their own way shine :) I will try and post some video of the performance on Sunday. We are off to indoor soccer on Sunday and then I am going to collapse on Monday, happy for a break from the chaos.
On a more spiritual note, I have found myself battling some depression this week over the various health issues that go on in our family. I have been praying through it and I know the solution for me is to not focus on myself but to get out and serve those God has put in my path. I pray this season, I can look out with the eyes God has and see all of the people who need His extra love this season. I pray my children and I can serve together and look beyond our family to see how to minister to others around us. I encourage all of us to reflect on what God has done in our lives and praise Him for what He is and is going to do, to treasure moments with loved ones, to take a break from the chaos, enjoy your precious family, praise God for health, food to eat, and shelter. I am reminded to remember the broken-hearted, the down-cast, and those less fortunate than myself.

Thank you to those who have ministered to me this past week with your prayers for my boys (both big and little) and for your words of encouragment. Love to you all.

I really have screwed this up!

I need the Geek Squad to come live at my house. I was trying to upload the "cutest" little template for my blog and I have managed to lose everything personal on this site and now I can't find the layout button! Oh dear. I will probably laugh about this tomorrow but right now I am whining about technology being so incomprehensible to me. UGH!